


right where you left me

by tteguri



Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Getting Back Together, M/M, Post Break Up, sad kinda?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:53:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28464144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tteguri/pseuds/tteguri
Summary: where chanhee is still the one seokwoo wants.
Relationships: Kang Chanhee | Chani/Kim Seokwoo | Rowoon
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	right where you left me

time heals everything, they say. but when seokwoo finds himself back to that restaurant, he feels shivers down his spine. 

he thinks about him. he hates doing that, he hates remembering the tears streaming down to his face, ruining the make up he still had on that day. he hates even more remembering what was before that day, hands touching in dark rooms, closed doors, stolen kisses. 

he didn’t cry that time at the restaurant. he wants to cry now, years later, but he can’t. he wants to scream, but the can’t. he can just offer his arm to the girl he’s with, smiling politely to her parents. 

it’s his choice. he chose this, arranged marriages, a normal, boring life. no more rush, no more fear, no more hiding, because there is nothing to hide. he left and everyone moved on. 

he moved on. 

but when he gets there he somehow hopes to see him there, like he’s waiting for him, frozen in time, still at the table, his glass shattered on the white cloth, and he’d run to him, saying he’s sorry, saying he doesn’t mean that, saying he’ll stay. 

but the table they were at that night doesn’t even exist anymore, the room is rearranged. there’s a piano there, and someone is playing some nostalgic music for the guests, and seokwoo has to wake up from his delusional fantasy. 

no one would wait for someone that left them. especially not him. he is fierce, not the pretentious kind, he just never keeps his head down. he never bends down. when he cried, that night, he didn’t hide his tears. he looked at seokwoo right in the eyes, to let him know what he was doing, how much he was hurting him. 

seokwoo once thought it was for the better. 

he walks to their table, barely listening to the chatter that is surrounding him. he sits next to the girl. she smiles at him. he doesn’t like her. he doesn’t like anyone, since him. 

everyone moved on. he moved on. no, he didn’t, because looking around memories come back, feeling more real than the present moment, haunting him. his shirt, his soft lips, his tiny hands. he’s everywhere, and seokwoo hasn’t moved on at all. 

he tried. he tried with girls, with arranged marriages, with work, with friends, but nothing could erase him. 

he hoped to find him there, in the restaurant, but that’s him, it’s him who’s stuck there since then, unable to move forward. 

their love died that day. no witnesses. it had been so long. 

he will be somewhere, with a wife, maybe, or maybe he has been more brave than him and got himself a husband. maybe he has kids. and seokwoo is still there, far away, and he can’t cause no more harm. stuck in time, stuck in his mistakes, stuck in a life that isn’t his. 

if only he was there. if only seokwoo could rewind time just once, to that day, and stay, and pick up the pieces of the glass he dropped, and of the heart he broke. 

but he can’t. 

“i’m right where you left me” 

the voice makes seokwoo almost jump on his chair. he is sure it’s his imagination playing tricks and he has probably an hallucinated face and his mom looks angrily at him since he isn’t making any conversation but he can’t care less. 

then he hears the voice again, singing. 

“you left me no, you left me no choice but to stay here forever” 

“can you hear it too? the song” he asks the girl besides him, and she nods, looking at him a bit perplexed.

“yeah, the pianist has a really nice voice” she says shyly. 

seokwoo knows that voice. the voice that whispered to him countless times how much he was loved, the voice that screamed at him, the voice that was breaking in that same restaurant, when seokwoo told him he met someone else, when seokwoo lied because he was afraid, because there was and there has never been anyone but him. 

and he’s there. 

and he’s looking at him. 

he doesn’t look any different, like he didn’t got older, same haircut, same hair color, now wrinkles on his porcelain skin. his hands go steady on the piano, he doesn’t have to look at the sheets or at his hands. he looks at seokwoo, right from the corner when seokwoo left him the last time. 

and he’s singing a song. 

the song is for seokwoo, he knows that. he talks about someone that has been left in a restaurant and he’s stuck there, unable to move on. 

seokwoo wants to scream that he can’t sing that. he can’t sing that because he is the one who hasn’t moved on, who still thinks about him, who wants to go back in time and change everything. he wants to scream that he’s with a girl but he barely knows her, that he doesn’t care, because he is in love with him, and it has always been like this. 

but he can’t. 

maybe it’s better off this way. maybe it’s just a coincidence, and he just has to stick to the conversation, not paying attention to the song, or the piano, or him. 

but how can he? 

how can he ignore the love of his life saying that he got frozen in time as well, since that night, and he loves stuck in a fantasy, stuck at 23, when everything ended, like seokwoo is. 

so another glass drops. the white cloth is stained, the girl next to him makes a tiny scream and probably her dress is ruined too.

like the other time, seokwoo doesn’t stop to pick up the pieces. he doesn’t stop even when his mom asks him what is he doing, he just walks to the piano, he just walks to him, and he’s singing about how everyone moved on, and no, that’s not correct, the song has to be written again, because not everyone did. not seokwoo. 

seokwoo makes it to the piano exactly when the song says “but if you think you got it wrong i’m right where you left me”. 

the song has more lines, but the music stops. 

seokwoo can’t look at him in the eyes, so he just offers him his hand.

“it has been so long” he says. 

seokwoo has a billion things to say. that he is sorry, that he is an idiot, that he wants to make it right. 

“i didn’t move on.” seokwoo just says, because words die in his throat. 

“me neither. i just stayed there, right where you left me.” he replies.

“i got i wrong, chanhee.” says seokwoo, this time finding the courage to look at him in the eyes. 

seokwoo expected anger. he found triumph, like he knew all along that he will come back. 

seokwoo smiles, defeated but never happier to have lost a battle, or a war or whatever it was, and offers him his hand again. 

chanhee takes it.

**Author's Note:**

> i just listened to the new taylor swift album and i discovered this song and i had to write this


End file.
